Monday, March 7, 2011

Shriveling up like a supermodel

  I used to be thin. I used to be the girl who wore a size three jeans as my baggy jeans. And like most teenage girls I still thought that I was fat. Boy was I an idiot.
  I have decided to document my weight loss because it will force me to stay honest with myself and also with anyone who may read this. Why do I want to lose weight? For starters I am only five foot two and at my start weight I was 188 pounds (I have lost three pounds in the past week). My older sister used to be heavy but has lost a bunch of weight by running marathons and doing bike races. I now outweigh her. That's not what makes me angry though. What totally pisses me off is the fact that I weigh more than my boyfriend and he is eleven inches taller than me. Yeah that sucks bad.
  Rich (the boyfriend) has no clue what I weigh because I refuse to tell him. It's not that I keep secrets from him but I don't want to see the look of shock on his face when he realizes just how fat his girlfriend really is. He knows that I'm heavier than what I want to be but I told him that until I get close to what I actually want to be it's none of his business.
  A few things have affected my weight over the past few years. I have two sons who are 9 and 8. They are 14 months apart which basically means that my body never recovered from the first kid before I front pooped a new little person. I had C-sections with both boys so my abs (which weren't great to begin with) were officially shot.
  When my oldest son (Damon) was six months old he almost died from the flu and was in and out of the hospital for a few weeks. He has asthma so when he gets sick, even now, he gets really sick. We're talking coughing so hard that he throws up and feeling just plain miserable overall.
  My youngest son (Soren) was diagnosed with Autism at age 2 1/2. If that isn't a blow to a parent then I don't know what is. I have gained the most weight just since he was diagnosed. I now weigh more than I did when I was pregnant either time. I am a stress eater and I have had more stress in the last 6 years than some people have had in their entire lives.
  About four years ago my dad almost died after having a stroke and my best friend died almost three years ago from kidney disease.  And the icing on the cake is that my mom broke her neck last summer (she is fine and didn't damage any nerves).
  I don't mean to make this sound depressing but I want to share why I became such a fattie.
 

  And now for the working out stories..... :)

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